Hetalia Academy for Misbehaved Boys
by Blueninjamanga22
Summary: This is Alfred's fifth year at Kirkland's Academy for Misbehaved Boys, a disciplinary boarding school for delinquents, and the first year he's gone without his twin brother and his best friend, Matt. But then he meets Kiku, a boy who could just possibly be Alfred's new best friend. Can he survive another year at Kirkland's without getting expelled . . . or loosing his new friend?
1. Bubblegum

_** I used this as a one-shot AU idea in my other story, "Alternate Universe." People seemed to like the idea, so I decided to branch it off as it's own story. **_

_** I think I came up with this idea, as I've never seen an AU like this before. But considering I haven't read every single fanfiction out there, I'll never know. **_

_**~ * ~ * Chapter One ~ * ~ ***_

- Bubblegum -

_Tree, rock, tree, rock—squirrel—tree, rock, tree . . ._

The list could go on and on, as Alfred Jones stared out of the bus window. He wasn't usually reduced to looking out of bus windows, especially not this early in the mornings. But he didn't have Matthew with him this time, so things were about to get really boring this year.

This year marked the fifth year Alfred would be going to Kirkland's Academy for Misbehaved Boys, and the first year he'd be going without his brother. Five years was important mark; half a decade was a long time to be going to the same old hellhole. At the beginning of their fourth consecutive year, they planned to bring a big ol' cake and sing when they got to five years. Something like 'happy five years to us!' in the tune of the happy birthday song. Wouldn't _that_ put good old Kirkland's Victoria Secret panties in a twist? But Alfred hardly saw the use in celebrating without Matthew.

After the summer of year four—translating to fourth grade to anyone else—Alfred and his brother decided that they didn't want to even hit year five. The plan was simple; Matt was to beg their parents to let them stay at home for the fifth grade. And it worked for the most part in the absolute worst way possible: they'd convinced their parents that Matt was a cured child, while Al needed another year or two of tough boarding school learning to straighten up.

And that made sense in a way. Matt was an innocent looking kid, with big violet eyes and round-looking glasses, though he could be just as mischievous as Al when the time came. And Alfred just naturally had this impish, I-pissed-in-your-coffee kind of look to him. So, on the second month of summer, their parents announced that Matt was going to attend Kingsbury Elementary, the one that was about a five or so minute drive from their house, and Al was to return for another year at Kirkland's.

"I'll convince them you let you start middle school here," Matt said when they were waiting for the bus, with his two suitcases and his backpack, tears rushing down his face. "You promise you'll e-mail me?"

"Yeah," Alfred smiled, trying hard not to cry. "You know how good I am at hiding stuff from Kirkland"

He wasn't going to pretend like he wasn't hurt. He didn't want to go back to Kirkland's without Matt, and Matt obviously didn't want to go to Kingsbury without Al. But he wasn't going to sit here and cry about it. Just one more year, and then he and Matt could go to middle school together.

_Tree, rock, tree, rock, tree, rock—deer—tree, rock, tree . . . _

Alfred looked around, trying to see any familiar faces. Hardly anyone stayed at Kirkland's for any more than a year, two if they were really bad. Five years was Kirkland's longest record, and Al wore the title proudly. So, as usual, there was a truckload of new faces.

There were the obvious bad-asses of their hometown; there a blonde boy who wore his face like it was a mask. Then there was this innocent looking ginger who was humming under his breath in Italian—obviously pure evil. It's the cute ones you gotta watch out for. Everyone's here for a reason; one day they're adorable, the next they've broken someone's nose.

There was an Asian kid who'd made a cat's cradle between his fingers, and a tall kid (_way_ too tall to be in the fifth grade) who watched him as he made it with wonder, as if he'd never seen a yarn trick before. Second-timers. Alfred recognized Ivan Braginski because the last time he saw him, he was trying to break his face. And the Asian kid was Wan Yao—he used to steal food from the cafeteria and sell it for half-price to kids in the hallway.

You could always tell who was here for the first time. There was a brunette kid who needed a haircut that was rocking back and forth, hugging his knees and sobbing like a newborn baby. The blonde boy next to him—Alfred would now know them as the 'girl-hair-duo,' it was official—looked like he was painting his nails or something. The blonde kid also had a number of clips in his hair, so Alfred was rethinking if he was a boy or a girl.

Alfred leaned back in his seat, and then heard noise from behind him. He sat up and looked over the seat, seeing for the first time who was sitting behind him. It was a boy, and Alfred knew that he wasn't a second-timer, because he would've recognized him if he was. But he wasn't crying or muttering to himself in denial like a first-timer would, he was simply playing on a Nintendo DS (it looked like Pokémon, so no wonder he was so calm.)

Alfred folded his arms on the seat, and then rested his chin on them. "'Sup?"

The boy looked up from his game for a mere second. It was an Asian boy with the typical Asian features; black hair, brown eyes, creamy skin. He didn't seem very interested in Alfred, so he simply returned his attention back to training his Dewott.

"I said hi," Alfred said, leaning a bit forward in his seat. "_Helloooo_?"

The boy's eyes glanced up for a second, and then returned his attention back to his game.

"You do speak English, right?" Alfred asked, raising an eyebrow.

No response, just the sound of controls clicking.

"Oh, sorry," Alfred cleared his throat. "_Ehm_—kon'ichiwa, pan-fried-noodles, Mulan-Chan-desu—"

"I'm from Charlotte," the boy said abruptly, pausing his game.

Alfred paused, raising an eyebrow. "Where's that; China?"

"North Carolina," the boy rolled his eyes, and when he saw that Alfred didn't know where that was either, he added. "It's a state"

"Oh," Alfred shrugged. "I'm from Manhattan. That's in—"

"New York, I know," the boy continued, unpausing his game and beginning to play again.

"Smart-ass," Alfred muttered under his breath, and then returned his attention to the boy. "My names Alfred, but you can call me Al. What's your name?"

"Kiku, Kiku Honda," the boy responded, his eyes not leaving his Nintendo screen.

"And you're sure you're from Charlotte?" Alfred raised an eyebrow. He went to school with a boy named Wan Yao, and if anything sounded like an Asian name, it was something like 'Kiku Honda.'

"_Yes_, my parents are Japanese" Kiku rolled his eyes. "They're both really into the whole Japanese culture thing"

"You seem nice enough, why'd they send you here?" Alfred asked.

"_They're_ really into Japanese culture, _I'm _not," Kiku responded. "That apparently categorizes me as 'misbehaved.'"

"Oh," Alfred thought for a moment, and then pulled out a packet of gum from his pocket. "Gum?"

"No, thank you," Kiku said.

There was a pause.

"Gum?" Alfred offered for a second time.

"No, thank you," Kiku said.

There was a short pause, Alfred tapped his fingers on the seat, and then said. "Gum—?"

"Why do you keep asking me if I want gum?!" Kiku snapped.

Alfred paused for a second, and then raised an eyebrow. "I seriously doubt you're from Charlotte now. Well, Chink-o-de-Mayo, here in _America_, kids love gum. And since we're going to that hellhole of a school, gum is going to become a precious material seriously fast. So let's put two and two together here. Me offering you gum is my way of offering to be your friend"

For a moment, Kiku simply started at him. His logic was idiotic, but in its own little way, it made sense. Gum was going to get valuable soon, in a child's terms, considering there weren't any shopping districts at a disciplinary school. But still, he couldn't see how he was supposed to figure out that he wanted to be his friend just because he offered him gum.

"So, I'll ask you again," Alfred said, holding out the pack. "You want gum?"

Kiku thought for a moment, and then shook his head. "No, thank you"

* * *

"Students, take your seats," their teacher, a man named Arthur Kirkland, who demanded to be called 'Mr. Kirkland' but was mostly called 'Mr. Mega-Brows,' said. "When, I call your name, please say either 'here' or 'present.' Adnan, Sadik?"

"Here," a kid whose face was covered by his hoodie said, looking down at the floor. His eyes were also behind a pair of dark sunglasses. Alfred guessed that he was here for killing someone and was trying to protect his identity; nothing new from the usual.

Kirkland made a mark on his clipboard. "Beilschmidt, Ludwig?"

"Here," the blonde boy with the serious-like face from the bus said, tapping his fingers on the desk.

"Braginski, Ivan?"

"Here," Ivan said, shifting his legs around, considering he didn't fit under the desk.

_Freak_, Alfred thought bitterly, chewing down on his gum.

"Stop that," Kiku hissed under his breath from the seat next to him. "It's annoying. You sound like a cow"

"Honda, Kiku?" Kirkland said, looking up.

"Here," Kiku raised his hand like a good boy should, and Kirkland smiled and nodded in his direction. Looked like someone already picked a favorite, and it wasn't even ten minutes into class.

Kirkland made a face, like he'd just tasted something sour and hated it. "Jones, Alfred F.?"

"'Sup?" Alfred said, causing a wave of small giggles to go around the room.

Kirkland rolled his eyes, and then glanced down at his clipboard. "That's strange. Where's the _other _one?"

"If you mean Matt, we merged together over the summer so we share the same physical body. That's why he's not on the list," Alfred answered sarcastically, and the ginger kid sitting behind him laughed as if that was the funniest thing on the earth.

Kirkland scoffed. "So Matthew got to stay home; it's good that _one_ twin learnt"

Alfred rolled his eyes, resting his chin on his palm as Kirkland kept reading off the names. "Køhler, Mathias?"

"Here!" that boy used so much hair gel, Alfred could smell it from the other side of the room.

"Karpusi, Heracles?"

"Here," it was a boy with a sleepy-sounding voice, and that was probably because he snapped awake when his name was called. When Kirkland moved on to the next person, he went back to sleep.

"Laurinaitis, Toris?"

"P-present," that was the brunette kid that was crying on the bus.

"Łukasiewicz, Feliks?"

"Here," that was blonde girl-boy with the pink nails. Apparently, girl-boy is actually a boy.

"Vargas, Feliciano?"

"Me! Me, me, me! That's me!" the ginger kid that was sitting behind him called out, waving his hand around excitedly, smiling like an idiot and jumping up and down. Yup, 'Feliciano' was _definitely _going to break someone's nose tomorrow.

"Vargas, Lovino?"

"Me," a boy that sat in the very back muttered, and he had to repeat it because not even the boy sitting in front of him could hear him. If there was anyone who didn't want to be here, it was him.

"Wang, Yao?"

"Here," Yao said, still playing with his cat's cradle.

"Wang, Kaoru?"

"Here," that was the boy who got suspended last year for lighting firecrackers in the cafeteria.

"And . . . Vach Zwingli?"

"Here," also a second-timer, Alfred recognized him. He was only ten years old, and he knew how to handle a shotgun like a pro. He proved that when he hit Mathias between the eyes with a pebble using his slingshot last year.

"Ok, that's everyone," Kirkland turned, beginning the lesson.

Alfred leaned over to Kiku, whispering under his breath. "I wonder how the Vargas kids are such polar opposites. Like one of them looks like he could sing that happy song any minute now and the other one looks like a zombie"

Kiku giggled. "I guess you have a point"

"Hey," Alfred smirked, quickly making a two-pencils-and-rubber-band slingshot and setting his gum in the middle, aiming it at the back of Kirkland's head. "Watch this"

Alfred steadied his hand, aimed the gum wad, and as Kiku was covering his mouth and biting his palm to keep from giggling, he fired.

Just as Kirkland turned around.

"Now, who can tell me—?" he started, as the gum hit him straight between the eyes. But that wasn't the funny part. The hilarious part was that it got stuck in his eyebrows.

The class was stunned for a moment, but all it took was a single 'pfft!' sound from Alfred for the entire class to erupt in laughter. All the while, Kirkland looked like he was about to explode, slowly walking towards Alfred.

"Jones," he said through gritted teeth. "Do you know why your brother got to stay home?"

"Because he's the cute one?" Alfred smirked as he raised an eyebrow.

"You two have the _same face_," Kirkland snapped.

"Yeah, and he's the cute one. I'm the cool one," Alfred answered.

"Well doesn't this prove that being the _cool_ _one_ never got anyone anywhere in life?" Kirkland snapped.

"No. Being cool could get you a lot of places," Alfred said. "For example, if _you_ were cool when you were my age, you probably wouldn't be a teacher at a school for elementary delinquents"

"Oh, my God," Kiku's words turned to giggles half-way through his sentence, and that line only caused every boy to go into fits of laughter.

Kirkland seethed. "Look at that. On the first day, you've already got a partner in crime. Honda, Jones, meet me after class for detention"

Kiku looked absolutely horrified, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. "Mr. Kirkland, sir, I didn't—!"

"He didn't do anything!" Alfred exclaimed. "It was my idea; he even tried to stop me. You shouldn't punish him for something I did. After all, I'm the one with a record. Isn't it like me to this kinda stuff on the first day?"

Kirkland thought for a moment. "Since this is your first day, Honda, I'll let you off with a warning; Jones, detention. Am I clear?"

"Yes, sir," both boys said in sync, returning to their schoolwork. But Alfred didn't notice that Kiku was looking at him in a whole new light.

* * *

In the course of five years, Alfred had sat through around 300 afternoons of detention. That wasn't an exact number, though; he'd lost count after a while. But it was still as boring as it was the very first time he got detention. The teacher in charge of it, Mr. Bonnefoy, liked to look through Tumblr feeds on his phone instead of watching the kids, so one could basically do whatever he liked.

At around 5:30, Mr. Bonnefoy unlocked the door (all while not taking his eyes of his dashboard) and set him free into the school. Alfred smiled; by far, Mr. Bonnefoy was his favorite teacher.

He walked into the hallway, pulling out his dorm number from his pocket. At that precise moment, he realized he wasn't alone. Kiku sat up from one of the hallway benches, and for a moment, the two boys just stared at each other, unsure of what to say.

"Kiku?" Alfred asked, deciding to state the obvious before anything else. "Were you waiting for me?"

Kiku didn't answer; he simply reached into his back pocket, and pulled out a packet of gum. "Do you want some gum?"

Alfred couldn't help but smile in response. "Yes, please"

* * *

_**I've seen a lot of High School AUs, but I've never seen one like this. So I THINK I invented it, but I'm not really sure. **_

_**In Shades of Blue,**_

_**Ninja **_

_***BAGPIPES EXIT!***_


	2. Complimentary Tours

_**Thanks for your reviews; I have a great feeling about this story. **_

_**~ * ~ * Chapter Two ~ * ~ ***_

Complimentary Tours –

Alfred opened his trunk, throwing everything out of his bag, digging down into his trunk. "I call top bunk!"

"We don't have bunk beds," Kiku said, raising an eyebrow.

"What?" Alfred looked up, and sure enough, there were just two beds, set side by side. "Aw, no, they got a degraded again! Kids just aren't getting in trouble and shipped off to this hellhole like they used to"

"And that's a bad thing?" Kiku muttered, taking out his Nintendo and returning to his game. That's all that boy seemed to do with his time: play that game.

"Yeah, its costs a lot to send kids here," Alfred said, rummaging through his suitcase and throwing things in all directions. "Like, a hundred or so dollars per kid. So the more kids they send; the better funds we have. But since this year's class is even smaller than last year's, so you can expect budget cuts"

"I suppose you're the biggest money-bringer," Kiku said.

"Yeah, kind of—found it!" Alfred exclaimed in happiness, taking out what looked like a laptop. Kiku raised an eyebrow. The only real option was that it _looked_ like a laptop. Because Kirkland's ran a tight security check on all bags as soon as they entered the school. No technology was allowed. And even if they were to get things like phones and laptops through the security breach, there was no Wi-Fi or cellphone service. So what was the point?

"What's that?" Kiku asked.

"It's the Tardis," Alfred rolled his eyes. "What do you think it is? It's my laptop"

"How'd you get it through the security?" Kiku asked.

"You wrap it up in clothes, stick it in the middle, and put your suitcase in the far back," Alfred smirked, opening his laptop, plugging it in, and hacking into the school's private internet connection. "By the time they get to your laptops, they'll be tired, so they'll just poke around for a bit and then pass it through. Easy"

"That's gotta be against the rules," Kiku said.

"So's bringing a Nintendo," Alfred smirked, narrowing his eyes. "What'ja do, stick it in your pocket?"

". . . and cry, a little," Kiku admitted. "They go nuts for the whole 'I miss my mommy!' deal"

"You're evil," Alfred laughed a bit. "I _love_ it!" He then opened his laptop, typed in his password and opening up a new email.

To _Matt_

Subject _Welcome to the Ninth Circle of Hell_

_Guess who hacked into the Wi-Fi without your help! I'm so proud of myself. _

_I've already gotten detention. Isn't that weird? I kinda shot gum at him. It was a very impressive two-pencils-and-a-rubber-band slingshot. You should've seen it! It was amazing! Damn, those three hours of detention were worth it._

_You might be worrying about my new roommate. Well, worry not! This cool guy I met on the bus, he's my new roommate. His name's Kiku Honda. Kinda sounds like Kiki, don't it? Like "Kiki's Delivery Service." Can you send me that movie? I'll miss it too much if I don't get to watch it. _

_Anyways, I'll tell you a bit more about Kiku. He's this little Asian kid. He says he's from "Charlotte," which is in "North Carolina." But I still think he's from China. _

_Anyways, this might be a good year. Miss you already. Hugs and kisses in a totally not gay way. _

_~ Al_

Alfred clicked on the send button, and then closed his laptop. He'd been living in this room for the last five years, and he knew all of its best hiding spots; the most notable one being the loose floorboards. He pulled back the board, putting his laptop under there and closing it up tight.

There was a knock on the door. Kiku jumped up to answer it, but Alfred stopped him. "It's just curfew"

"How do you know?" Kiku asked.

"It's ten o'clock, is everyone in here?" a feminine voice called.

"Yeah," Alfred responded, and then nudged Kiku in the stomach to get him to answer.

"Uh—yeah," Kiku said.

Alfred listened to the sound of footsteps, and then Alfred's face broke out into a smile. "Cool; curfew!"

"You're a weird noodle, did you know that?" Kiku asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, my mom says that, too," Alfred said, smirking. He took a paperclip of off one of his assignments, bent it out of shape, and then used it to pick the lock. "Those idiots never duct tape the door"

"What are you doing?!" Kiku exclaimed.

"This is your complementary tour of the Ninth Circle of Hell!" Alfred smirked, grabbing him by the wrist and running out.

* * *

"Shh, if you make noise, someone'll hear," Alfred hissed, as the two boys crept through the hallway. Kiku had his camera, which Alfred quickly discovered that he took everywhere. And Kiku really _wasn't_ supposed to be here, he didn't know anything about simple sneaking procedures. He had his flash on when they first left.

"_Someone_ wasn't a ninja in the homeland," Alfred hissed, and Kiku scowled at him.

Kiku followed him over to one of the rooms, and Alfred quickly put his hand over his eyes. "Keep 'em closed, ok?"

Kiku grunted in annoyance, but put his own hands over his eyes. There was the sound of footsteps, and of something he couldn't recognize. A weird kind of clicking sound that echoed a bit.

"Ok—you can open them," Alfred said.

Kiku's eyes fluttered open, and found that he was in the theatre room. There were rows and rows of seats, and the lights were on in the entire place. Alfred stood center-stage, waving his arms around like an animal and jumping up and down.

"Look!" Alfred exclaimed, offering his hand and helping Kiku onto the stage.

"And I wasn't supposed to make noise?" Kiku asked, rolling his eyes.

"This is the farthest room from the teacher's dorm, Matt and I used to come here all the time," Alfred made a swatting motion with his hand, rolling his eyes. "They won't find us in a hundred years. Check it out—_hello_!"

_Hello_

_Hello_

_Hel. . . _

His voice echoed across the room, and Alfred laughed with glee. "Listen, isn't that cool! You give it a try!"

Kiku thought for a minute, and then yelled at the top of his lungs. "_Ramon noodles_!"

_Ramon noodles_

_Ramon no . . . _

_Ramon . . ._

"Ramon noodles?" Alfred asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I love Ramon noodles" Kiku admitted with a giggle. "Your turn"

Alfred thought for a moment, and then shouted. "_Unicorns 'n' rainbows_!"

_Unicorns and rainbows _

_Unicorns and rain. . . _

_Unicorn . . ._

"Unicorns and rainbows?" Kiku asked, smirking a bit. "Don't you think that was a little gay?"

"You know, it's like you to know about gay stuff," Alfred laughed. "Ok, your turn"

Kiku cupped his hands over his mouth, and then shouted. "_Get me out of here_!"

_Get me out of here_

_Get me out of . . . _

_Get me . . . _

"Whoa," Alfred sighed, looking at him with a smile on his face. "Looks like the little Asian's got a lotta rage"

"Hey, someone had to say it," Kiku said, taking a seat and swinging his legs back and forth on the stage. "It's only been a day and I hate this place"

"You get used to it after five years," Alfred said, taking a seat next to him. "Once you get over the horribleness of it all, it ain't that bad"

"I guess, it just like any other boarding school with absolutely nothing fun to do and little to no spirit of enjoyment or enthusiasm," Kiku shrugged, leaning backwards on his hands. "Why do you call this school the 'Ninth Circle of Hell'?"

"According to Dante Alighieri's poem, the Ninth Circle of Hell is where people go for betraying the ones they love," Alfred said, resting his arms on his knees. "This is the place where parents ship off their kids for being bad, therefore we were all betrayed. It's a form of irony"

"You're actually pretty smart," Kiku said, looking at him with wide eyes.

"It was mostly Matt's idea," Alfred shrugged. "It really interested us, you know? We were learning about that guy's poem the first year we got here. We've been calling this place the 'Ninth Circle of Hell' ever since"

"Where is your brother?" Kiku asked.

"He got to stay home," Al shrugged.

"That doesn't seem very fair," Kiku said.

"Life's not fair," Al sighed, and then smirked. "You know what we should do? I know where they keep all the old costumes from last year's play. All of this cosplay shit—c'mon, I'll show you"

And so, the two boys rummaged through the many trunks of costumes, putting on wigs and deciding to do impersonations of the teachers. Alfred put on a messy blonde wig, one that obviously hadn't been used in years, and drew extra eyebrows on himself with a magic marker. He found a suit in there, and while he figured out how all the buttons worked, Kiku had to help him with his tie.

Being the shorter one, Kiku was the one who got stuck with the girl's part. But he wasn't exactly complaining, in his own words, he said he could have 'way more fun' with that. He found one of the frilliest dresses, a tube of bright red lipstick, and a blonde, messy wig that looked just like the one Al was currently wearing. He grabbed a stick of eyeliner and drew a couple of extra thick eyebrows on himself, not to mention a more than necessary amount to give himself eyelashes and black lower eyelids.

"My, my, you're looking smashing today, Miss Kirkland!" Al said in what could be one day voted as the Most Insulting British Accent of All Time.

"As do you, Mr. Kirkland!" Kiku exclaimed, his voice high-pitched. And if there ever were a runner-up for the Most Insulting British Accent of All Time, it would be Kiku's imitation.

"Oh, you know what they would call the land where all the Kirks live?" Al asked, giving a bow.

Kiku's giggle was nothing short of ridiculous. "Oh, I don't know; what?"

"A _Kirkland_!" Al exclaimed.

"Oh, what a wonderful joke!" Kiku exclaimed. "Now, where is Kirk even from?"

"I have no idea, where?" Alfred asked, putting a finger to his chin in thought.

"_Kirkland_!" Kiku giggled, and Alfred laughed, spinning him around.

"What do you call a major-league douchebag?" Alfred asked.

"_A Kirkland_!" the two exclaimed in unison, laughing with glee. The two then began dancing around the room, spinning and turning, all while saying how handsome or beautiful either Mr. or Miss Kirkland looked this very fine evening.

"What the—is anyone in here?"

The two boys stopped, exchanged a horrified look, and then dashed out of there, all while not even bothering to get out of costume.

Approximately one minute and thirty five seconds later, the school grounds keeper would walk in. He would wonder why all the lights were on, but would simply assume that whoever used the theatre last must have left the lights on.

But, rather than turning off the lights and mind his own business, he would climb onto the stage and yell at the top of his lungs. A collection of random words and sentences he'd always wanted to say, but couldn't, at least not without getting fired in the process.

And then he'd look backstage and wonder why all the costumes were scattered all over the place. Why was all of the make-up out of its package? He'd wonder something along the lines of _are we missing a suit and a dress_? And he'd grumble in annoyance, knowing that he'd have to clean this up tomorrow.

But, in the midst of it all, he'd smile. Because it was nice to see that these boys were still having some fun.

* * *

Kiku and Alfred dashed down the hall, and Alfred had to admit, Kiku could run very fast in heels. They slid in front of their dorm room, Alfred fiddling with the lock for a bit before opening the door. All the while, both boys were giggling and laughing with a kind of devilish glee.

Alfred locked the door tightly behind him, taking off his wig and laughing with delight. He really couldn't stop laughing. It was funny that he couldn't, funny in a way that made him laugh harder.

"That was probably the craziest thing I've _ever_ done," Kiku admitted, wiping his drawn-on eyebrows off of his face.

"Stick with me, kid, and things are about to get a lot crazier," Alfred said, doing the same. He changed into his PJs, and as soon as he was sure that Kiku was asleep, he climbed down and pulled his laptop out from under the floorboards. 11:30 PM and he already had a reply.

To _Al_

Subject Re: _welcome to the Ninth Circle of Hell_

_You're right, I am proud of you. It's good to know that you're not stumbling around, drooling from the mouth and slamming your face into concrete walls without me to help you. _

_It's weird seeing all these people we used to know at Kingsbury. Remember Nasty Natty, from kindergarten? She's in my class, now. She won't stop asking me if her future husband (she means Ivan, by the way) is doing alright. I keep telling her that I don't know because I don't go to the same school as him anymore, but she won't take 'no' for an answer. That's why I'm asking you in this email. Send two emails in reply to this one, because I've gotta use one of these as evidence for her. _

_By the way, try not to get into too much fun—I mean trouble—this year. It'll be hard convincing mom and dad to let you come back if you're still getting into fights with good ol' Brainless Braginski. _

_It's nice to know that you're making friends over there. Just don't go off replacing me, ok?_

_Miss you more, hugs and kisses in a totally not gay way. _

_~ Matt_

* * *

_**Though I have not seen Doctor Who, I do know what the Tardis is. I haven't been living under an internet rock, people. **_

_**I found myself tempted to put some AmeriPan moments in there . . . I know they're young and all, but I do love that ship. **_

_**In Shades of Blue,**_

_**Ninja**_

_***BAGPIPES EXIT!* **_


	3. Criminal Underground

_**I'm sorry this chapter has taken so long, but I'm working on a couple of other fanfics and school is hell. **_

_**Anyways, here's the next chapter. **_

_**~ * ~ *Chapter Three ~ * ~*  
- Criminal Underground –**_

Alfred never quite understood why they were allowed to teach religion at Kirkland's. Their teacher was a rather religion-ecstatic man named Gilbert Beilschmidt. He was Ludwig's older brother, and he got fair amount of teasing for it until Mr. Beilschmidt told them that anyone who made fun of him was definitely going to hell. Alfred knew this was a lie simply because of two reasons. Number one being that Mr. Beilschmidt also taught PE and coached sports, and he told anyone who fell behind in running that they were definitely going to hell. Number two being that Matt told him that he was lying, and Matt was always right.

Mr. Beilschmidt's excuse was that they all needed 'a little bit of God in their lives,' and was strongly proud Catholic. But for Alfred and Kiku, who were a Baptist and a Shinto, not much could be done to convince them.

Though neither of the two boys considered themselves religious, they both liked Mr. Beilschmidt's religion class. First reason being he never gave out tests, so anyone could sleep or draw if they wanted to. Second reason being he always found a way to make it interesting no matter your age group. Even in the first grade they were reading booklets based on Dante's Inferno (number nine stood out to Alfred because it showed a kitten kicking another kitten over to a cop, ironically named Sheriff Puppy.) Whether or not you believed in what he taught, you had to like Mr. Beilschmidt.

"C'mon, sit down, you little snots," Mr. Beilschmidt said, and everyone did as he said. Winning over their respect wasn't a matter of intimidation. For example, they found Mr. Kirkland intimidating, and to them, that was hilarious. They laughed in the fact of intimidation, at a teacher's struggle to make children fear them. No, that wasn't it. If they liked you, they would cooperate well enough. If they don't, you're in a whole new circle of hell.

"Take your books out from under your desks," Mr. Beilschmidt wrote the pages and stanzas they were supposed to read on the board, and Kiku narrowed his eyes at Alfred.

"How are they allowed to teach us this?" Kiku asked.

"I think it's in the papers, but they they're teaching us Christianity," Alfred shrugged. "No specifics"

"That's stupid," Kiku scoffed, but Alfred nudged him hard in the shoulder as an indication for him to shut up.

"Yeah, I know it's only day one of this class and none of you want to be here," Mr. Beilschmidt turned, crossing his arms and leaning against the blackboard. "So let's keep this simple. Who can tell me the basics?"

Ivan "Butt-cheeks" Braginski (as Alfred called him) raised his hand. "That those who are good go heaven and the sinners go to hell. Jesus died for our sins. You're supposed to love your neighbors like Jesus loved us. You take care of them and you don't judge them."

"Good, now—" Mr. Beilschmidt was interrupted when Kiku's hand shot up in the air. Alfred gave him a puzzled look, but Kiku's facial expression didn't change.

"Yes, Mr. . . ." Mr. Beilschmidt paused, looking to his roster. " . . . Honda?"

"But what if they're gay or worship other Gods?" Kiku asked, and then entire class gasped. For a classroom full of children who cursed like sailors, the word 'gay' was a potty word. It made everyone uncomfortable, therefore no one said it. "Then what?"

Mr. Beilschmidt raised an eyebrow. "Then they're sinners"

"So you're supposed to love sinners?" Kiku asked, tilting his head in innocence.

"_Shut up_!" Alfred hissed, but Kiku ignored him.

"Of course not," Mr. Beilschmidt hissed.

"But what if our neighbors are gay or worship other Gods?" Kiku asked. "They're still our neighbors. Aren't we supposed to love them and take care of them without judging them?"

Mr. Beilschmidt narrowed his eyes, took a few steps closer to Kiku's desk. He stared at him for a few seconds, and then burst out laughing. "You think outside the box kid—I like you. But seriously, don't interrupt in my class"

"Yeah, I guess that's because I'm not really used to this," Kiku shrugged, pointing to his eyes. "My crazy Asian stuff back home, you know, they teach me different stuff"

"Oh?" Mr. Beilschmidt got a confused look on his face. "What religion are you?"

"Buddhist," Kiku said. "A religion that was taught to me by my Buddhist parents, who I bet are going to be ecstatic about how quickly I've converted to Catholicism."

Mr. Beilschmidt paled, which was impressive to see, considering that fact that he was an Albino. "Do you have an iPod?"

"Yes," Kiku answered.

"Why don't you listen to music?"

"If you say so"

Alfred stared at him wonder as Kiku untangled his headphones (it took him about five minutes) and stuck them into his ears. When he started listening to some K-Pop band Alfred didn't recognize, Alfred tapped him on the shoulder and whispered. "You told me you were a Shinto"

"I am," Kiku admitted with a nod.

"Then why'd you say you were a Buddhist?" Alfred asked.

"You think he'd know what a Shinto was?" Kiku raised an eyebrow. "He's more familiar with Buddhism, which is obviously Asian, so I went with that"

"You're a genius," Alfred breathed, and Kiku's only response was nodding before putting his headphones back in.

* * *

"I'm just saying," Alfred said as the two walked down the hallway towards Kiku's locker. "Would it still be illegal if it was in _someone else's _pool?"

"I dunno, it sounds illegal . . ." Kiku shrugged, opening his locker. A red envelope fell out of it, landing on the ground. It had Kiku's name written on the front, but no return address. The wax seal on it had the letters KCU on it.

Kiku picked up the envelope, a bit confused, while Alfred began to have one of the biggest happy freak-out sessions of all time. "Ohmygod, you got invited!"

"Into what?" Kiku raised an eyebrow, looking to his friend.

"That's an invitation to the Underground," Alfred smirked, pointing to the letters on the wax seal. "See that? That stands for 'Kirkland's Criminal Underground.' Those guys must've liked the way you lied out of Religion class"

"I didn't technically lie," Kiku muttered. "I mean, my dad's a Buddhist"

"Don't feel bad, it was genius," Alfred patted him on the back, smirking. "Matt and I got invited last year, but we turned 'em down. We were more solo"

"I haven't heard about a Criminal Underground," Kiku raised an eyebrow.

"That means they're doin' a good job," Alfred was smiling like a little kid on Christmas. "Go on—open it. Let's see what groups inviting you"

"There's more than one?" Kiku asked.

"There's ten; Kid, James, Hardin, Cassidy, Sundance, Miller, Younger, Starr, and Bass," Alfred said, and held up a finger for each name. "Each named after a famous outlaw. There's a lot because each one focuses on something different. Like Kid runs illegal selling—stuff like gum and candy, and Bass will hack into the system and change your grades if you pay them enough. Just open the letter, the suspense is killing me!"

Kiku narrowed his eyes at him, and then opened the letter. There wasn't anything on the paper but a crest, one with a hand with its fingers crossed in the center, surrounded by vines that were covered in leaves. A ribbon was beneath it, one labeled 'James.' "Looks like James wants me"

"Well duh," Alfred smacked himself in the forehead. "I don't know why I didn't see it. If they want you 'cause you lied, then it's James who wants you in"

"What's their deal?" Kiku asked.

"Liars," Alfred smirked. "You pay them and they'll give you an excuse, any sort of excuse for any reason. Excuses for no homework, for being late, getting out of classes, and all of their excuses work every time. They only accept the best, you should be proud"

"Of being a liar? No thanks," Kiku muttered, shoving the letter back in his locker. "I'm not interested"

"Dude! If you get in, I'll get free stuff from the Underground for the rest of my life!" Alfred exclaimed, his eyes getting desperate.

"I'm supposed to join the Criminal Underground just so you can get excused out of Gym?" Kiku rolled his eyes. "I don't want to be here next year, Alfred. I don't think joining some sort of cult will convince my parents to allow me to come back home"

"They won't know!" Alfred exclaimed, jumping up and down. "I'll even go with you, if you're so scared."

"I'm not scared," Kiku growled through gritted teeth. "I'm just smart"

"C'mon, don't be like that!" Alfred grabbed the envelope, opening it and reading its content. "They're even inviting you to their next meeting, they really want you in"

"I'm not interested, Alfred"

"But they don't usually do that! They usually make people go through training or do some task for them—this is awesome! They must be really impressed by you!"

"Not interested"

Alfred bit his lower lip, and then smirked. "I heard that James and Starr are really close groups"

"So?" Kiku narrowed his eyes.

"_So_ Starr works with illegal imports," Alfred smirked. "They could probably get you a copy of Pokémon XY for cheap_. _Maybe even for _free_"

Kiku's eyes widened; and he snatched the paper from Alfred's hands. "You're coming to the meeting with me"

* * *

"Then you take out your trusty lock pick, and you're out"

Alfred opened the door, signaling for Kiku to follow him. The two boys made their way down the stairs, avoiding making any noise. Alfred had advised him to dress 'cool,' which is to say badass. The most badass Kiku was willing to go was a hoodie, and Alfred stuck with what he could get.

It took Alfred a bit to find the elevator—because when they said criminal 'underground,' they really meant _underground_. They're meeting place was located in the basement, which had been abandoned ever since the storage room was built.

The elevator stopped, and a voice asked. "ID?"

Alfred nudged Kiku in the shoulder, and he held up the crest up to the nearest security camera. There was a laugh on the other side of the microphone. "Dude—dude—goddammit, Heracles, get over here—look, it's Honda!—ack!—GET YOUR STUPID CAT OFF THE KEYBOARD, I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL THROW IT OUT A WINDOW—Jesus—yeah, you go—sorry, Honda, I'm unlocking the door now"

There was a click, and the elevator door opened. Alfred smirked, shoving Kiku forward and following him. The members of the James Group were sitting around a table, playing cards. The one at the head of the table, the boy named Lovino Vargas, stood up, extending his arms and smiling. "Honda, baby; you made it!"

"Uh, yeah," Kiku glanced to Alfred, who gave him a thumbs-up.

"You brought a friend?" Lovino asked, and then narrowed his eyes at Alfred. "Didn't you and your brother get invited into Starr like a year ago?"

"Yeah, we had to turn ya down," Alfred shrugged.

"Where is your brother anyways?" Lovino asked.

"Oh, uh—he got to stay home," Alfred admitted.

"Oh," Lovino shook his head in sadness. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"'S ok," Alfred looked down, biting his lower lip and kicking the ground. "He's in a better place now"

"You must be grieving," Lovino sighed. "But I bet Starr's offer still stands"

"I don't think it'll be the same without Matt," Alfred said, sticking his hands in his pockets. "I just came to support Kiku, that's all," he gave his friend a pat on the back, who stared at him with a face full of confusion. Matt was just at home, and they were treating the matter as if he was dead.

"Understood," Lovino nodded, and then made a motion with his hand. "Come, come; take a seat next to Abe"

For a guy named 'Abe,' he seemed a bit terrifying. He had spiked up blonde hair, terrifying green eyes, and a scarf wrapped tightly around his neck. He glared at Kiku when he sat down, and Kiku felt sweat drip down the back of his neck. Abel kept glaring at him, all without moving his chair. That made Kiku feel even more uncomfortable; he didn't know what he did to piss him off, but if he hated him so much, why didn't he just move his chair away?

"Give 'em a set of cards," Lovino said, and that blonde kid with way to many hairclips—Feliks, was it?—handed him a set of seven cards. Feliks smiled at him as he sat back down, flipping his hair in the most dramatic way possible.

"What're we playing?" Kiku asked.

"Bullshit," Abel responded, and his voice had the effect of ice cubes dropped down someone's back.

"I've never heard of it," Kiku said, trying to move his chair over to the left, but Abel grabbed his chair and forced him to stay put.

"It's a card game where you call someone's bluff," Lovino smirked, and Kiku wasn't sure whether or not he was to believe the guy who the gang leader of a group of liars. "You put down a card, and it has to be a card I say. Like if I put down a one, you have to put down a two, he puts down a three, and so on and so forth. If you don't have the card you're supposed to put down, you're allowed to lie. But if you do lie, and someone thinks you are, they call 'bullshit.' If you are lyin', you have to take all the cards and add 'em to your own hand. If you're not lyin', whoever accused you has to take all the cards. You win when you don't have any cards in your hands. Understood?"

"I take it you guys don't talk about this," Kiku raised an eyebrow.

"Around teachers, it's called 'Cheat' or 'I doubt it,'" Lovino admitted with a shrug. "But it's more fun to curse, 'eh, Mr. What-if-our-neighbors-are-gay?"

The use of the word 'gay' caused everyone in the room to shiver and silence, with the exception of Felix and Abel. Felix just kept filing his nails and Abel kept staring Kiku down as if it were his job. Kiku pulled his collar back a bit, laughing nervously. "I—I don't really see 'gay' as a curse word—"

"Look at 'em playin' innocent!" Lovino laughed, and everyone around the table began laughing with him. The kid sitting on the other side of Kiku, a boy with tan skin and a highly unnecessary mask over his eyes, laughed and patted him on the back. "You're not foolin' us!"

"I wasn't—" Kiku started, but decided to stop defending himself before he embarrassed himself.

"You're a pretty good liar," Lovino smirked.

"And that's a good thing?" Kiku asked, looking over his set of cards. He had six; an ace, a jack, two kings, a three, and a four.

Feliks rolled his eyes. "Look, _dude_, I know it, like, feels bad and all the first time you lie to someone, but it, like, gets easier. You're still, like, innocent and stuff. You'll get better. I, like, promise"

"Right," Kiku muttered. "So, what made you guys want me in? Was it because of what happened in Religion class?"

Lovino laughed a bit. "What happened in religion—that was just in the incin' on the cake! What we really want you in for," Lovino walked over to him, put an arm around his shoulders, and then pointed to Alfred. "Is 'cause of _him_!"

"Alfred?" Kiku raised an eyebrow, as Al had his headphones in his ears and his music blasting loud enough to wake the dead. "What about him?"

"That dude's a _legend_," Lovino smiled, as everyone sitting around the table nodded in agreement. "Five years _straight_? Back in the day, he and his brother would do anything they wanted and they'd never get caught. We've been tryin' to get him in the Underground for years, but there's no convincin' him! The only friend he's ever really had was his brother"

Kiku wondered for a moment if that was true. After all, Lovino was the leader, therefore the best liar of them all. But if he was such a good liar, why would he pick something so ridiculously impossible to believe? Alfred was cool, smart enough, and a lot of fun. Why would his only friend be his twin brother?

"So you hit 'em while he was weak, eh?" Lovino smirked. "What'd ya tell him? Throw around some emotional shit, I bet?"

Kiku blinked, and it occurred to him that Lovino really thought that he'd tricked Alfred into being his friend. "I didn't say anything. He came up to me"

Lovino laughed. "Really, Kiku, no one's judgin' ya! You can tell us the truth"

"I _am_ telling you the truth!" Kiku exclaimed. "He really is my friend!"

Lovino shook his head. "When you're ready, you can come clean. Let's just play cards now—"

"I'm not interested," Kiku put his cards down, sat up and then offered his hand to Lovino for a shake. "It was very nice of you to offer me a place in your—uh—club, but I'm afraid I'm not interested in joining"

* * *

"Why the hell would you turn them down?!" Alfred exclaimed as the two made their way back to their dorms. If anyone was the most disappointed about Kiku's decline to join the Underground, it was Alfred. Kiku didn't exactly understand why, especially since from what he understood, he'd have been the one benefitting the most out of accepting.

But Kiku had to decline, in the end. Sure, lying was fun and all, but he didn't like to do it. He didn't like_ talking_, why in the world would he want to join a group of people who do nothing but talk? And in the end, the only reason they wanted him in was a lie. So what was the point?

What exactly was he supposed to tell Alfred, though? The truth was either going to make him mad, sad, or perhaps both. Not to mention he'd think of Kiku a lot less than he did before, and Kiku suspected that that wasn't very high in the first place. So he sighed, stuck his hands in his pockets, and decided to lie one last time.

"It was lame. Besides, they suck at playing Bullshit"

* * *

_**So I was on Tumblr a little while back, and I found out that Netherlands and Japan is actually a thing. Like a ship. One I never even knew existed. Can someone please explain to me why it's a thing? That would be awesome.**_

_**"I'm just saying, would it still be illegal if it was in someone else's pool?" "I dunno, it sounds illegal" ~ Haru and Makoto in Free! 50% Off, which is a hilarious parody. **_

_**I'm sorry this chapter took so long. **_

_**In Shades of Blue, **_

_**Ninja**_

_***BAGPIPES EXIT!* **_


	4. Hunger Games

_**Sorry this update took FOREVER, but I've been very busy lately. **_

_**~ * ~ * Chapter Four ~ * ~ ***_

_**- Hunger Games –**_

Though Kiku and Alfred shared most of their elective classes, Kiku was smarter than Alfred by a longshot. Alfred had a GPA of 2.5, while Kiku's GPA was a 4.0. Given that bit of information, Kiku was in all honors classes, while Alfred was in all Foundations classes.

Before the school year started, they were each required to buy books to read for the year. According to Kiku, the "unfair" part was that Mr. von Bock made his honors classes read three books that year, while Alfred was blessed with one, maybe two if they finished early. And so, Kiku would spend the year reading "To Kill a Mockingbird" and "Of Mice and Men," Alfred was reading "the Hunger Games."

Kiku never would've guessed that Alfred was going to love that book as much as he did. Even though he was only required to read the first two chapters for homework, three weeks into school and he read that book first thing in the morning, once he got free-time in the afternoons, and right before bed. He'd even ordered a Book Light from Starr, and bought it from Kid (according to Alfred, you ordered it from Starr, but bought it from Kid. Starr's the group who hacked into the school's account and used school funds to buy whatever you wanted, but Kid's the one who actually sold it.)

Somewhere around midnight, Kiku felt himself getting shooken awake. He blinked, finding himself staring right into Alfred's eyes. He had purple rings under his eyes from being up for so late, and the look on his face suggested he'd seen someone get murdered.

"Alfred?" Kiku groaned. "It's past midnight, what're you doin' up?"

"I—I just finished . . ." Alfred licked his lips, which were chapped from not moving them for so long. "Kiku, he _saved_ her"

"Who saved who?" Kiku sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Peeta . . . he . . . he saved Katniss's life," Alfred's words were spaced apart, as if he were exhausted but forced himself to keep doing whatever. "He didn't . . . he didn't have to, Kiku. He was . . . he was with the . . . the . . . the Careers and they kind of . . . sort of . . . trusted him . . . they weren't gonna . . . kill him . . . and he risked it all to . . . to save Katniss . . . why would he . . . do that?"

Kiku took the book from Alfred, pushing him back lightly and leading him to his own bed. He drew back the covers, folded the corner of the page Alfred was on, and tucked his friend into bed. "Maybe because it was the right thing to do"

"But . . . why would you . . . risk your own life . . . to . . . to protect someone else?" Alfred whispered. "Especially . . . especially in a . . . 'every man for himself' thing like the Hunger Games . . .?"

Kiku shrugged. "Some people are just worth dying for. It's about how much you love someone"

"Love . . ." Alfred closed his eyes and smiled. "I love 'ya, Kiku"

"That's nice, Alfred," Kiku turned, walking back to his bed.

"I mean it," Alfred yawned. "Like, not in a gay way, or anything, but," this time, his yawn was longer. "You're my bestest friend in the whole wide world"

"You're exhausted and delusional," Kiku muttered. "Go to sleep"

There wasn't an answer, and when Kiku turned over, Alfred was fast asleep. Kiku climbed over, turned off the light, and curled up in his bed.

* * *

"So, I've been thinking,"

"That's a first," Kiku said, as he stretched out his left arm behind his right. Their PE uniforms consisted of sweat pants, tennis shoes, and a gray shirt with the words _KIRKLAND P.E. _written across the front. Unlike most schools, every single boy was dressed out in their uniforms. Most parents believed that they were used to being in their "adorable" little uniforms, and it was this uniform routine that caused them to dress out for PE. In all reality, it was because Mr. Beilschmidt was also their PE teacher, and all those boys both loved and feared him.

"Alright, brats, run, run, run!" Mr. Beilschmidt blew on that horrid whistle of his, and all the boys took off running. Just by looking, you could tell who was slowing their pace to keep with their friends and who were trying desperately to keep up to stay with their friends. An excellent example of this would be Ludwig Beilschmidt and Feliciano Vargas; while Ludwig was running at the pace of a car going as slow as it could go, Feliciano looked like a turtle trying to keep up with the said car.

"What were you thinking about?" Kiku asked.

"That book I was readin'—y'know, the Hunger Games?" Alfred said, and they didn't have much of a problem, as the jogged at nearly the same pace. "So, here's a trick question. Who do you think—out of this school, I mean—would win in the hunger games?"

"Ludwig," Kiku spoke without hesitation.

"Really, you know just like that?" Alfred asked.

"Look at him, that kid could fight off an army," Kiku said, turning back at Ludwig. They were halfway through the quarter-mile track; Feli had collapsed from exhaustion, and Ludwig was carrying him all without even breaking a sweat.

"Point taken," Alfred shrugged. "But what about those two?" he pointed across the track, where Sadık Adnan and Heracles Karpusi were currently racing. They were running at top speed, neck-to-neck, and it had gotten to a point where they were on their second lap and nearly catching up to the rest of the boys, who were currently halfway through their first.

"They'd have a fighting chance," Kiku shrugged. "And that kid's a good shot," He pointed at Vach Zwingli, who was running at what would be considered a 'standard' pace with a straight face. "If he had a gun, he'd dominate"

"True," Alfred looked around a bit. "What about that Abe kid from the Underground?"

"Don't mention him," Kiku shivered. "He creeps me out"

Alfred smirked. "Maybe he _liiiiikes_ you,"

"Yeah, right," Kiku scoffed. "I barely even know him"

Alfred shrugged. "You know, we're all dudes here. I seriously doubt that every single one of us is one hundred percent straight"

"You're looking at someone who's one hundred percent straight," Kiku grimaced. He looked towards Mr. Beilschmidt, who was currently yelling at Feli for 'hitching a ride' with Ludwig (the fact that he didn't call out Ludwig for carrying Feli was definitely going to get him made fun of later.) "In a 'who would survive the hunger games' thing . . . do teachers count?"

"It's eighteen and under, so no," Alfred said. "But if anyone were to be a victor, it would be Mr. Beilschmidt," he began to smirk a little. "So who d'you think would die first?"

"Mr. Kirkland," Kiku said. "But if it was an eighteen years or younger kind of thing, then I think Lovino would go first. I mean, he talks tough, but something about his attitude tells me he'd be scared silly in the Hunger Games,"

"I'm sorry, but Feli would be gone in a heartbeat," Alfred shook his head. "That kid's nothin' without Ludwig—"

Somewhere behind him, Sadık had bumped into Ludwig. The blonde boy apologized a bit, but Sadık scowled (or, at least, Alfred thought he did. It was hard to tell with that mask of his.) "Watch it, Teacher's Bitch"

"Looks like teasing's startin earlier than I thought," Alfred said.

"Doesn't matter," Kiku said. "It doesn't look like Ludwig really cares,"

That was true; as Ludwig simply shrugged off the insult and just continued running. It was Feli who looked seriously offended. He ran forward a bit, and then patted him on the shoulder. "Hey, you can't talk to Luddy like that"

Sadık scoffed, and that was expected of him. "Yeah, and what're you gonna do about—?"

Feli drew back his fist and punched Sadık in the nose. The boy staggered, a bit of blood dripping down from his nose. And it only started as a little bit, soon blood was pouring from his nose like water from a faucet. "What the hell is wrong with you—?!"

Feli jumped on him, pinning him to the ground and punching every inch of skin he could reach. Ludwig started shouting and trying to get Feli off of Sadık, while Heracles was cheering "_kick his ass, Feli_!" at the top of his lungs.

"Stop him!" Kiku shouted, and he started to run over, but Alfred stopped him.

"Are you kidding me? This is awesome!" Alfred put his hands over his mouth and chanted. "Fight, fight, fight!" It didn't take long for the other boys to join in the chant.

"Fight, fight—hey, stop it!" Mr. Beilschmidt stopped his chanting when Kiku glared at him, and he pulled Feli off of Sadık in a single pull. "Boys, that's enough. Adnan, go to the nurse. Vargas, I'll see you in detention"

"Yes, sir," Feli muttered, walking back to Ludwig, who looked horribly terrified.

"What did I tell 'ya?" Alfred smirked. "He's obviously pure evil. It's the cute ones 'ya gotta watch out for. Everyone's here for a reason; one day they're adorable, the next they've broken someone's nose."

"You've never told me that," Kiku raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't?" Alfred asked, and Kiku shook his head. "I must've thought it"

* * *

At around ten o'clock that night, Kiku found himself getting shook awake. He sat up, rubbed his eyes, and found Alfred staring back at him. Alfred smirked, and then tossed clothing at his face.

"Get dressed," Alfred commanded. "Oh, and wear this"

"Yeah, you didn't have to tell me," Kiku muttered, getting a better look at whatever it was Alfred wanted him to wear. It looked like a business suit, except its tie and pocket handkerchief were red and white. "Why does this suit look like a piece of peppermint?"

"It's in the Japanese colors!" Alfred exclaimed. "See? Mine's red, white, and blue?"

"I'm an American!" Kiku spat. "And how come yours makes you look like Captain America and mine makes me look like a walking candy cane?"

"I dunno, ask your home country," Alfred shrugged. "They're the ones who should've picked better colors. Now, c'mon!"

Once Kiku was dressed, they began to head downstairs. Alfred opened the door, and they walked out onto the football field. It seemed like Alfred and Kiku weren't the only ones attending—there was a crowd of boys, cheering at the top of their lungs.

Kiku looked to his friend and narrowed his eyes. "What did you do?"

Alfred smirked in response. He jumped up on the bleachers, as someone from the crowd tossed him a microphone. He offered his hand to Kiku, and then pulled him onto the bleachers. Kiku gave him a skeptical look, but Alfred responded by shouting into the microphone at the top of his lungs. "_Welcome to Kirkland's Academy for Misbehaved Boy's First Annual HUNGER GAMES!_"

The boys cheered, but Kiku looked horrified. Alfred put his hand over the microphone, and whispered. "Relax, it's just the name. It's not a fight to the death"

Kiku let out a sigh of relief, and Alfred continued to talk into the microphone. "_Now, everyone currently here, with the exempt of myself and Kiku, here,_" he patted him on the shoulder, as to indicate that he was who he was talking about.

"Hi, Kiku!" Feli shouted from the middle of the crowd, waving his arms around.

Kiku offered a small wave. "Hi"

"_Have put their names in this bowl_," he held up a glass bowl that looked like it'd been snagged from the cafeteria. "_As we discussed earlier, you can pay to have your name in more or fewer times. The minimum amount you can have is twice. Kiku here is gonna pick two names from the bowl and call them out on the microphone. The two will fight, and the winner moves on. Then Kiku will select another name, and so on and so forth until we have our very first VICTOR!_"

At the sound of the word 'victor,' the place erupted into cheers. Kiku looked over to Alfred, his eyes wide. In two minutes, he'd used more vocabulary words than he did every day since he met him. What if Alfred really _was_ smart, but he pretended not to be in order to keep up a 'cool' image? Then again, he was arranging a hunger games tournament in the middle of the night just for the hell of it. Kiku really didn't know what his deal was.

Alfred put his hand over the microphone, and then handed him the bowl. "Alright, pick two names, and then announce them"

Kiku put his hand in the bowl, moving it around in circles for a bit before selecting a piece of paper. "_Uh . . . Ludwig Beilschmidt_"

The boys roared with excitement, and they would've shoved him forward, but they didn't have to. Ludwig walked rather proudly into the center of the circle. He cracked his knuckles, and somewhere in the crowd, Feli was screaming a little too excitedly.

Kiku hesitated for a bit before picking the other name. "_Mathias Køhler_"

A little too excitedly, a boy with spiked up blonde hair ran into the middle of the circle. "Alright, bitch, I'm ready for 'ya. I'm _so_ ready! Look at this; look at this! You can't even see me, I'm going so fast! Yeah, yeah, that's right; be scared, dick-sucker. I'm coming at you like a storm. Like a lighting storm. Yeah, suck on that. You know why? 'Cause you're a dick-sucker. You know what that means? That you like to suck d—!"

As soon as the word 'fight' escaped Kiku's lips, Ludwig punched Mathias on the cheek. The boy staggered and fell to the floor, but picked himself up again. The crowd was screaming with excitement, even Berwald Oxenstierna looked kind of excited (thought that could've been because Mathias got punched in the face, you never knew with good 'ol Bored-as-fuck Berwald.)

Mathias tried to make a punch towards Ludwig, but Ludwig grabbed his outstretched wrist and quite literally flipped him over his shoulder. Mathias landed on the ground with a sickening _thump_ sound, and he groaned in pain.

A small smile came to Berwald's lips, and he muttered. "Kick his ass, Ludwig"

"_KICK HIS ASS, LUDWIG_!" Feli screamed, jumping up and down, for all of those who didn't hear Berwald say it.

"What's going on?" when a flashlight shined on them, all of the boys gasped and took off in all directions. Kiku quickly smashed the bowl on the ground, and everyone around him worked to step on the names and make them illegible. The microphone made a horrible screeching sound as everyone went into 'every man for himself' mode.

* * *

Everyone at school was on 'lockdown' the next day, which just meant that there would be no recess for a while. Apparently, they'd done a good job of covering the evidence. Well, not really. The teachers were well aware that something happened, and that a large amount of kids were involved in it. The part that was so amazing to the kids, yet so frustrating for the teachers was that they couldn't prove who was involved because all the slips of paper with their names written on it were stomped down and covered in dirt to the point where they were impossible to read. They'd only caught two: Ludwig Beilschmidt and Mathias Køhler.

Since Mathias and Ludwig were the only ones that actually fought, everyone in the school figured it made sense for them to get punished. They got three weeks of detention, and as a joke, people liked to add 'with no chance of parole.'

"Can't Ludwig's brother just get him out of detention?" Kiku asked. "I mean, Mr. Beilschmidt is a teacher, after all"

"I think Ludwig _wanted_ him to keep him in detention," Alfred shrugged. "Mr. Beilschmidt punished him, so Ludwig isn't the Teacher's Bitch anymore"

"Isn't it Teacher's_ Pet_?" Kiku raised an eyebrow.

"Not in this school, it ain't"

* * *

_**So I touched down on religion in the last chapter, and I wanted to clear something's up.**_

_**I grew up a Baptist, given that my grandparents are. My grandparents are also extremely Southern (both living in West Virginia for most of their lives) so I think you know where this is going. Though I obviously don't agree with their views, I have gotten a good earful of their views. "God says being Gay is wrong," "you're lost if you don't worship God," "God says to love thy neighbor as you love thyself and don't judge them." Basically "anyone who thinks differently than we do is going straight to hell." After my grandparents church, my parents are both Atheists (my dad's an atheist, my mom's . . . something. I think she's a spiritualist, but I don't really know with her.) So my knowledge on religion is pretty rusty. **_

_**I knew Prussia's a strict Catholic, who's views I know next to absolutely nothing about. In all honestly, I should've asked one of my Catholic friends or went on the internet. But I figured that the two groups had the same general views (primly "no abortion" "no gay" and "no other religions") and winged it. I probably should've said "Christian" rather than "Catholic," to be honest.**_

_**And also, my grandparents were both old and extremely stubborn, like Gilbert. Whatever they said about their religion was right, and I based Gilbert off of these actions. They didn't get mad, but nothing you told them could convince them otherwise. **_

_**Basically, I'm sorry if I insulted anyone. I really didn't mean to, and I don't have any bad thoughts on Catholics or Catholicism. **_

_**In Shades of Blue, **_

_**Ninja **_

_***BAGPIPES EXIT!***_


	5. Snitches Get Stitches

_**So by this chapter, I think you'll be able to guess what I had to take today. **_

_**~ * ~ * Chapter Five ~ * ~ ***_

_**~ * ~ * Snitches Get Stiches ~ * ~ ***_

Alfred didn't get why they put all the kids in the same room during midterms. Getting the smart kids near the stupid ones was just giving the stupid ones the opportunity to cheat off the smart ones. However, though he didn't get the purpose of it all, he was grateful for it. Mainly because he's was categorized as a 'stupid one' (and proud of it, too) while Kiku was one of the smart ones.

Alfred grabbed Kiku by the wrist and dragged him over to his seat, insisting that they sit together. Kiku gave him that 'I-seriously-don't-trust-you' look, but sat down in the desk next to him. Kiku put his backpack on the back of his chair, and then looked to the front of the room. From where he was sitting, the blackboard seemed like miles away.

"I didn't think we'd have to take midterms for a while," Kiku said, turning to his friend.

"They're the same as quarterly tests," Alfred shrugged. "We just call them 'midterms' so it can be used throughout the whole school. It would be pretty annoying if we had to use different words just because we're in different grades"

"What do you mean 'whole school'?" Kiku asked. He figured it was elementary-only, but Alfred shrugged.

"Kirkland's is an all-grades school," Alfred said. "Once this year's done, must of us are going on to the middle school, and then to the high school, and then we graduate. It's kind of like rehab. Not a lot of people get taken out early"

Kiku wasn't going to question Alfred's choice of comparison, and he looked to the clock. They had about twenty minutes before today's test, which they expected to last the entire school day. Kiku took out his 3DS, and almost instantly, Alfred took out his and demanded they battle Pokémon.

In that span of twenty minutes, Kiku found that Alfred was the worst person to battle with. Alfred always bet Pokémon, and when Kiku won, he'd exclaim that he cheated. Then he'd say 'double or nothing,' and when Kiku won a second time, he'd refuse to hand his Pokémon over. Kiku then said that the system automatically gave him the deserved Pokémon anyway; he even showed him that he'd gotten Alfred's Lopunny (named 'Slayer of All Things Holy') and Houndoom (named 'Fluffy'), but Alfred refused to believe it. His will was something Kiku didn't bother questioning.

Five minutes until testing, and Kiku took out his pencil pouch. He reached for a pencil, just as someone grabbed his wrist. He looked up, and there was that boy from the underground—Abe, was it? He had a lollypop sticking out of his mouth, and he took it for a mere moment. "You can sit up here with us."

"I'm fine," Kiku insisted, trying to get Abe's hand off of him. That kid had an iron grip. "Honestly"

"We insist," Abe said. "We wouldn't want anyone cheating off of you," he glanced towards Alfred, who scowled at him in response. "Would we?"

Kiku thought for a moment, and then shook his head. He quickly collected his stuff, and then gave Alfred an apologetic look. "Sorry. It's your own fault, you know, for not getting me to trust you enough not to cheat off of me"

"You're not going to start hanging out with those jerks, are you?" Alfred growled.

"_You're _the one who wanted me to start hanging out with those jerks," Kiku raised an eyebrow.

"That's before I found out that they were jerks!" Alfred exclaimed, looking towards the front of the classroom. The kids from James Group were in a tight circle, with a desk left open (this action was obviously done on purpose). "I don't trust them."

"Well, they're a group of people notoriously known for lying," Kiku said.

"Still," Alfred bit his lower lip, and then turned to his friend. "You already told 'em 'no,' right? So why're they actin' like you're one of them?"

Kiku shrugged. "It's not like I am. I just don't want you to cheat off of me," in an attempt to cheer him up, Kiku smiled and pulled out his 3DS. "We'll continue the game after the test, ok?"

Alfred smiled in response. "K"

Kiku moved his things to the open desk, conveniently right next to Lovino. Lovino smirked, putting an arm around his shoulders and giving them a squeeze. "'Ey fellas—look who made it!"

Kiku was met with a bunch of 'hey!'s and 'it's Kiku!'s. Kiku narrowed his eyes. "I was only on the other side of the room"

Lovino shrugged. "We figured you'd want to stick with Jones. What made ya wanna leave 'im?"

"He was going to cheat off of me," Kiku said, and they all burst into laughter. Kiku simply sat there, awkwardly, while they were exclaiming things like "this guy!" and "you're _hilarious_!" Well, everyone except Abe, who kept his standard bored expression. Kiku didn't understand why what he said was so funny; especially since Abe had said that to convince him to come over where they were sitting.

Lovino laughed, shaking his head. "You're a laugh, Kiku-Kun,"

"_What_ did you just call me?" Kiku raised an eyebrow, leaning back a bit.

"-Kun, it's a Japanese honorific used to show affection towards boys," Lovino looked a bit confused. "Don't you know about honorifics?"

"I'm from Charlotte," Kiku narrowed his eyes.

"Where in Japan is that?" Feliks asked, leaning forward with wide eyes.

"North Carolina," Kiku rolled in his eyes.

All the boys got quiet, before Sadık said. ". . . That doesn't sound very Japanese"

"That's because it's not," Kiku raised an eyebrow. He looked around a bit, while all the boys were completely silence, before he said. ". . . You guys _do_ know that I'm an American, right?"

The air was immediately filled with sounds of "oh, right, right!" and "yeah, of course." Kiku sighed, looking around a bit. These guys were going out of their way to impress him. Making him move seats, laughing at everything he said, they even went as far as to look up honorifics that were completely unfamiliar to him. He just didn't understand why.

Before he could ask, Mr. Kirkland whistled. "Alright, get quiet. The test is being handed out now"

Meanwhile, on the other side of the class, Alfred was panicking. He thought he'd be ok, considering this was a literature test and he considered English an easy subject. But then get got a look at the text, with its big-worded passages and hard questions. What exactly was the difference between a simile and a metaphor? He had no intention of failing this test, but he didn't want to study either.

Alfred took a chunk off of his eraser, and threw it at the back of Kiku's head. Kiku flinched, turned, and scowled at Alfred.

'Is number one: a, b, c, or d?' Alfred mouthed.

Kiku looked at him weird, shook his head, and then returned to his test.

Alfred scowled in annoyance, and he ripped off a piece of his eraser and threw it at the back of his head. Kiku turned again, feeling the back of his head. Alfred mouthed a second time. 'Is number one: a, b, c, or d?"

Kiku gritted his teeth, and then tapped his finger on the desk. But he only tapped it once. Alfred thought that was weird, and then threw another eraser piece at Kiku. Kiku grunted, and then tapped his finger on the desk once. Alfred threw another eraser piece, and Kiku tapped his finger on the desk once.

At that moment, a couple of wires began to connect in his head. One tap must've been a, two being b, and so on and so forth. Alfred threw another eraser piece at the back of Kiku's head again, and Kiku tapped his fingers four times.

Alfred ripped off another piece off of his eraser, and then threw it at the back of Kiku's head. At last second, Kiku turned and grabbed the eraser out of the air. He scowled, mouthed 'stop it!' and then threw the eraser at Alfred. The piece hit him in the eye and knocked his glasses right off of his face.

Alfred's glasses' hitting the floor was enough to catch Mr. Kirkland's eye. He looked up and scowled. "Jones, is there something wrong?"

"No, sir," Alfred muttered. He'd expected to just ask Kiku for the answer to every question, but this wasn't working out well for him.

Alfred whistled through his teeth, and then he raised his hand. "Mr. Kirkland, I can't see"

"Can't see what?" Kirkland asked.

"The board," Alfred answered.

By now, then entire class was staring at him. Kirkland gave him an odd look. ". . . Does it matter?"

"To me, it does," Alfred said. "I don't feel comfortable if I can't see the board,"

"Then put your glasses on,"

"They don't help. I think I need new ones"

"Ok, fine, move up"

Alfred collected his things, and then waltzed up next to Kiku. Kiku gave him a dirty look, but continued working on his test. Alfred took out his pencil, and then poked Kiku in the shoulder. Kiku looked over, scowled, and Alfred mouthed. 'What's the answer to number three: a, b, c, or d?'

Before Kiku could say anything, Lovino's hand shot up in the air. "Mr. Kirkland, Alfred's cheating"

Alfred's mouth fell open. In a school like Kirkland's, sayings like 'snitches get stiches' was respected like law. Getting told on never happened. If you were stupid enough to tell the teacher on someone, you'd have to expect getting your face beaten in.

"Did he, now?" Even Mr. Kirkland looked surprised at someone being a tattle-tale. "Do you have any proof—?"

"I, like, tots saw him, too," Feliks raised his hand while he was speaking. Alfred didn't see the point of even raising his hand if he was going to talk anyway. "He was looking at Kiku's paper"

Sadık actually raised his hand, but he didn't have to wait more than two seconds to get called on. "I saw him do it, too. He was trying to ask Kiku for the answers"

"Well, did he do one or the other?" Kirkland asked.

Abe raised his hand. "Both, sir; Alfred asked Kiku for the answers, and when he said 'no,' he tried to copy off of his test. Kiku didn't even know he was looking at his test"

That was when Alfred decided he wasn't going to take this crap. "Mr. Kirkland, I didn't—!"

"Don't speak unless your hand is raised, Jones," Kirkland narrowed his eyes.

Alfred's hand shot up in the air, and he waved it around wildly. Kirkland sighed, and then called on Alfred. Alfred leaned forward far in his chair, far enough that half of his body was falling off of his desk. "I wasn't cheating, I swear!"

"Were, too!" that was Tino, and when he nodded at Berwald, the stern-faced boy muttered a. "I saw him do it"

Heracles Karpusi sleepily said. "I saw him"

Alfred gritted his teeth; these guys all had something in common. Sadık, Heracles, Feliks, Tino, Berwald, Abe, and Lovino were all members of the James group. But even so, it didn't take long for other kids, boys who weren't even _in_ James, were muttering things.

"I think I saw him do it . . ."

"Funny, I thought he was just looking at the clock. . ."

"I saw him do it! I saw him!"

"Yeah, I saw him, too!"

"Cheat!" someone from the back of the class sneered. That was when Alfred figured out James' strategy. They had a big group; if they all said that they saw one thing, everyone else would agree just to get that feeling of being included. What was that called, again? Reverse psychology? He'd have to ask Kiku later.

"Alright, Jones, give me your test," Kirkland said.

"But I'm not finished—!" Alfred exclaimed.

"Test, Jones, give me your test_ now_," Kirkland growled. Alfred sighed, walked to the front of the room, and handed Kirkland his unfinished test. Kirkland put the test in one of his drawers, and then scowled at him. "You'll be spending the rest of the day in detention, and I'll have you know, cheating on a test is an automatic 'zero.' Am I understood?"

"Yes, sir," Alfred grunted. With that said; he packed up his things and proceeded to take the walk of shame out of the classroom.

* * *

"You should be thanking us,"

The test had been over for about an hour, and Kiku was waiting outside the detention room for his friend. He looked at the James group and scowled. "For what? Getting my best friend stuck in detention?"

"There isn't much use in calling him your _best_ friend," Lovino took a seat next to him, and Kiku scooted away. "Look, we all know that you're gonna be heading home next near. But Alfred? He's just going to go to the middle school along with the rest of us hopeless cases"

"You don't know that," Kiku grunted. "Matthew says—!"

"Matthew doesn't know shit, the kid barely talked when he was around," Lovino rolled his eyes. "And either way, he's from Manhattan and you're from Charlotte. That's like five _states_ away from each other. Don't you think he'll just go home and make new friends? That's what he did when Matthew left"

Kiku didn't answer, and Lovino shook his head. "You're only getting one year at Kirkland's, you know, and the best way to spend it is with us. That guy's just getting you in trouble and cheating off of your tests"

Kiku glared at him. Whatever the situation may be, he wasn't going to listen to the guys who dumped his best friend in detention. "Go away"

Lovino shrugged. "You're gonna listen to me at some point, you know that, right?"

"You're a dick,"

"I know,"

About a half an hour later, Alfred exited the detention room with a sour look on his face. Kiku stood up, walking up to him. "Are you alright?"

"That sucked ass and now I failed my midterm," Alfred grunted, as the two made their way back to their dormitory. "Why'd they do that? Snitches get stiches, you know"

"Not when everyone thinks you actually did it," Kiku pointed out. "Everyone thinks you're a cheat. I don't know much about how things work here, but isn't getting caught in the act worse than being a snitch?"

Alfred thought for a moment, and then sighed. "Yeah, you've got a point"

For the most part, the two walked to their room in complete silence. They made it to their room, changed into their PJs, and turned on the TV. Halfway through a rerun of SpongeBob Squarepants, Kiku smiled and took out his 3DS. "You still owe me a Lopunny and a Houndoom"

Alfred smirked. "You're _on_!"

* * *

_**Ok, this was short, I'll admit. But at least we know that we haven't yet seen the last of the Underground. **_

_**Plus, today's my birthday. Let me slack off a bit. **_

_**In Shades of Blue,**_

_**Ninja **_

_***BAGPIPES EXIT!***_


End file.
